6 am blog

I work in an 1 and 1/2 hours. It takes me about 15 minutes to get ready so I have a sufficent amount of time to write a mini blog.

I have been writing since I was about 7 or so. Looking back at the numerous journals I have had and filled they look stupid and often touch on such key issues as what boy was dreamy in 4th grade, the 5th grade popularity, and middle school drama, but it’s helped me to find my voice, and limit the amount of airy meaningless topics I allow into my writing now.

I have been writing poetry slightly shorter amount of time – probably for five years – last year or so fairly seriously.

                             Thoughts sit soft on the skin         As two hearts begin the lovers tango,          Delicately tangle, delightfully intertwined          Passion slips smoothly from the lips

Bodies feel blurred and serene, love acting as the intoxicating fiend

                           Hold my hand and we’ll stumble through it together

Welcome to love’s first dance

Despite what this poem suggests I have never been in love. I thought I was once, but the truth was there was a boy once who despite his issues loved me, and I loved that he loved me. In the end he got hurt, and I was fine. I hope to never make such a costly mistake again. It was my first experience with love in the form of a realtionship, but not of being in love. I hold an unfortantly cynical view of love and realtionships, and oddly enough I harbor no bitterness about the matter. I grew up in a home where my parents loved each other very much, and to this day love each other. I’m not sure where my views on love and realtionships come from exactly. I suppose from observing. So many people of all ages – teenagers, twenty-somethings, thrity-something, forties, upwards and onwards. They all project what they want from love, that movie magic love, that real love, that quirky love; love. I feel the desire to not be alone is so strong people project whatever kind of love they desire onto anyone who’s willing to fill that role of “boyfriend, girlfriend, partner” etc.  I think that soulmate meant for you idea is complete and total crap. For that reason I don’t put much stock in realtionships, weddings, vows any of it really, because in a world where the majority of people who enter marriage leave it. He wasn’t this, she wasn’t that, he wanted to much etc.

Now, don’t mistake me, I do actually believe there is a thing such as the love described above that I have mocked and discredited. I just think that love is much harder to see and get to. I do not believe in soulmates, but I do believe that some people have great chemisty, and if you meet such a person and say to them, “look I know we may not be the perfect pair, that I am not your one great true love, because neither of us have anyway of knowing that. I know I bring my fair share of faults and you bring yours, but I want you to be the one I commit to, no matter who or what comes along I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I believe that if you commit in an honest way to a realtionship/marriage you become interlinked. Forever in time you two have made an imprint on eachother to be connected for eternity.

I believe love is puriest when it’s given for people who never meet. Charities a lot of times, hold the most beautiful love, because it expects nothing back.

I say a lot of things that I truely mean now, just give me a view decades I imagine life and her experiences may have me singing another tune.

Until the next time,

-Chrish